Chevron Mustache

The Chevron is the Swiss Army knife of mustaches—versatile, reliable, and surprisingly good at opening bottles (okay, maybe not that last part). It's a thick, full mustache that covers the entire upper lip from corner to corner, creating an inverted V shape that would make any geometry teacher proud.

Tom Selleck mustacheMagnum PI mustacheClassic mustache70s mustacheDad mustache
Quick Facts
Growth Time

8-12 weeks

for full glory

Difficulty
2/5

If you can grow facial hair and own scissors, you're qualified

Monthly Cost

$5-$15

Cheaper than your Netflix subscription

Popularity

6,000

Monthly searches • stable

Best For:

Literally anyone who can grow facial hair and wants to look 73% more distinguished

Warning:

May cause sudden urges to solve crimes in Hawaii

Visual Characteristics
What makes this mustache unique

Measurements

Width

2.5-3.5 inches

Should extend to or slightly beyond the corners of your mouth, like a hairy smile that never leaves

Thickness

0.5-0.75 inches

Thick enough to filter soup, thin enough to not frighten children

Shape & Density

Shape: Natural downward curve following your lip line. No dramatic angles here—save those for your personality

Density: Full coverage that says 'I'm a man of substance' not 'I'm trying really hard'

Defining Features

  • Full upper lip coverage
  • Natural droop at corners
  • No dramatic angles or styling
  • Uniform thickness across
  • Covers entire lip from corner to corner
Etymology & History

The name comes from its resemblance to military chevron insignia—those upside-down V shapes on uniforms. But unlike military rank, anyone can achieve this distinguished look with just patience, a steady hand, and the ability to drink coffee very, very carefully for a few months.