French Mustache
The French mustache is sophistication incarnate—a refined, often waxed mustache that curves elegantly at the tips. Think of it as the Eiffel Tower of facial hair: architectural, romantic, and requiring regular maintenance to keep it from looking like a disaster.
6-10 weeks
for proper length to style
Requires precision, patience, and possibly a French accent
$15-$30
Mainly for quality wax and your therapist after the perfectionism kicks in
2,400
Monthly searches • stable
Best For:
Artists, intellectuals, and anyone who can pull off a scarf indoors
Warning:
May cause sudden urges to discuss philosophy and judge American coffee
Measurements
Width
2-3 inches
Extends past mouth corners with styled tips
Thickness
0.25-0.5 inches
Thin to medium—think espresso, not American coffee
Shape & Density
Shape: Straight across with upward curved or twisted tips
Density: Medium density required—sparse won't hold the style
Defining Features
- Waxed and styled tips
- Slight to dramatic upward curve at ends
- Clean, defined edges
- Often narrower than natural growth
- Sophisticated arch
Named after the distinctive style popularized by French gentlemen in the Belle Époque era, when having impressive facial hair was as important as having opinions about wine.