Handlebar Mustache

The Handlebar mustache is facial hair's answer to a rollercoaster—it starts sensibly enough in the middle, then takes a dramatic upward turn at the ends that says 'I make my own rules, gravity be damned.' This is the mustache that turned wax from a floor polish into a grooming essential.

Spaghetti Western mustacheRollie Fingers specialThe Hipster's DelightBarista Classic
Quick Facts
Growth Time

12-16 weeks

for proper curling length

Difficulty
4/5

Requires dedication, wax, and a degree in mustache engineering

Monthly Cost

$15-$30

Mostly wax. So much wax.

Popularity

28,000

Monthly searches • increasing

Best For:

Patient souls who enjoy sculpting facial hair and don't mind carrying emergency wax

Warning:

Side effects include: Sudden urges to join a barbershop quartet, twirl dramatically, and challenge people to duels

Visual Characteristics
What makes this mustache unique

Measurements

Width

4-6 inches

From tip to tip when fully extended

Thickness

0.5-0.75 inches

Center thickness, tapering toward ends

Shape & Density

Shape: Horizontal with dramatic upward curls at the ends

Density: Full center coverage tapering to pointed ends

Defining Features

  • Distinct upward curl at ends
  • Extended beyond mouth corners
  • Waxed and shaped daily
  • Symmetrical curves
  • Pointed or curled tips
Etymology & History

Named after bicycle handlebars due to its distinctive curved shape, though the mustache predates the bicycle by centuries. Victorian gentlemen were essentially cosplaying as their future transportation.