Walrus Mustache

The Walrus mustache is the grizzly bear of facial hair—massive, untamed, and commands respect from a distance. This beast of a mustache droops over the upper lip like its marine mammal namesake, creating a curtain of hair that says 'I've seen things' and 'I probably brew my own beer.'

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Quick Facts
Growth Time

16-24 weeks

to achieve full walrus status

Difficulty
4/5

Not for the faint of heart or sparse of follicle

Monthly Cost

$20-$40

Heavy on the conditioning products

Popularity

5,700

Monthly searches • stable

Best For:

Mountain men, philosophers, and anyone who's given up on eating soup gracefully

Warning:

Will catch food. Will require a dedicated comb. Will make you look 15 years older instantly.

Visual Characteristics
What makes this mustache unique

Measurements

Width

3-5 inches

Extends well past mouth corners, sometimes to jaw line

Thickness

1-2 inches

Thick enough to hide your mouth completely

Shape & Density

Shape: Natural downward droop, like a hairy waterfall

Density: Maximum density required - think 'sheep dog face'

Defining Features

  • Completely covers upper lip
  • Droops well below mouth corners
  • Natural, bushy texture
  • No styling or shaping
  • Often covers lower lip too
Etymology & History

Named after the walrus for its resemblance to the Arctic marine mammal's distinctive whiskers. First popularized in the late 1800s by men who needed their mustaches to keep their lips warm during winter.